petek, julij 24, 2009

smehoteka #871

Glede na predvidene pokojninske reforme bo v bodoče na osmrtnicah pogosto pripisano:
… do pogreba bo pokojnik ležal v svoji pisarni.

Oznake:

nakracal samuelion ob 06:28, | 1 krat počena tipkovnica
četrtek, julij 23, 2009

smehoteka #870

Majko, mogu li staviti mini suknju?
- Ne!
- Mogu li staviti ruž za usne?
- Ne!
- Mogu li staviti štikle?
- Ne!
- Ali majko, ja imam 18 godina!!!
- Znam Marko, znam...

Oznake:

nakracal samuelion ob 06:28, | 0 krat počena tipkovnica
sreda, julij 22, 2009

smehoteka #869

Nosi Mujo ovcu ispod ruke i dolazi kod Fate i govori:
Vidis li ti sta ja moram jebat kad tebe glava boli!
A Fata će na to: koga? sta? gdje?
A Mujo će: Ma 'ko tebi sta govori?!!

Oznake:

nakracal samuelion ob 06:26, | 0 krat počena tipkovnica
torek, julij 21, 2009

smehoteka #868

Došao Mujo kući nakon pola godine sa bauštele u Njemačkoj, opalio bi Fatu al
ne mogu se nikako oslobodit djece.
Dosjeti se on pa kaže Fati:
Kad budemo ručali ti se kao slučajno polij juhom pa idi u kupaonu, a ja ću za tobom.
I tako jedu oni a Fata tanjur juhe pa u krilo i otrči u kupaonu, ustane Mujo i
ode za njom. Nema njih nazad i ode jedno od djece vidit di su tako dugo.
Poviri kroz ključanicu, dotrči nazad i uplašeno sjedne za stol.
Pitaju ga ostali šta je, a on će:
Ko prolije juhu, jebat će ga tata.

Oznake:

nakracal samuelion ob 06:24, | 1 krat počena tipkovnica
ponedeljek, julij 20, 2009

smehoteka #867

En resničn, ki se je zgodil na Ekonomski v Kranju, na popravnem izpitu iz nemščine...

Učiteljica: "Kako se reče sladkor po nemško?"
Dijak: "amm.....ammm....ammm......."
Učiteljica, pomagajoče: "No, kako pa pri vas doma rečete sladkorju?"
(upajoč,da mu bo pomagalo izvleči nemško besedo iz gorenjskega narečja)
Dijak: "Pa, šećer........."

Oznake:

nakracal samuelion ob 06:22, | 0 krat počena tipkovnica
nedelja, julij 19, 2009

smehoteka #866

Detektiv

Sumnjao Bosanac da ga žena vara i naručio detektiva...
Pošto nije imao dovoljno para, uzme najjeftinijeg... Kineza.
Nakon par dana dobija pismo:

Most honorable sir!
You leave house. I watch house. He come house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go hotel. I climb tree. I look window. He kiss she. She kiss he. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall off tree. I not see.

No fee,

Cheng Lee

Oznake:

nakracal samuelion ob 10:20, | 0 krat počena tipkovnica
sobota, julij 18, 2009

smehoteka #865

Muž pita svoju ženu: Što bi napravila kad bi me sluuuučajno uhvatila u krevetu sa drugom?
A ona će na to: - A Što bi ti napravio kad bi me uhvatio u krevetu sa drugim ???
On će spremno: - Pazi, nemoj sad brkati kurvanje s totalnom slučajnošću !!!

Oznake:

nakracal samuelion ob 06:19, | 0 krat počena tipkovnica
petek, julij 17, 2009

smehoteka #864

ŽARNICE
Policist je vstopil v trgovino z elektro materialom in rekel:
"Pet pregorelih žarnic, prosim"
"Pregorelih?" se je začudil trgovec.
"Ja, veste, urejam si temnico."

Oznake:

nakracal samuelion ob 06:16, | 0 krat počena tipkovnica
četrtek, julij 16, 2009

smehoteka #863

Res je, da vsi sovražimo pedofile, ampak jim je treba priznati, da so eni redkih, ki upočasnijo, ko peljejo mimo šole.

Oznake:

nakracal samuelion ob 06:14, | 0 krat počena tipkovnica
sreda, julij 15, 2009

smehoteka #862

Doktor, potrebujem potrdilo, da ne morem delati.
Kaj vam pa manjka?
To potrdilo.

Oznake:

nakracal samuelion ob 06:13, | 0 krat počena tipkovnica
torek, julij 14, 2009

smehoteka #861

WHY AMERICA 'S ECONOMY FELL OFF THE CLIFF

John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock
(MADE IN JAPAN )
for 6 am. While his coffeepot
(MADE IN CHINA)
was perking, he shaved with his electric razor
(MADE IN HONG KONG)
He put on a dress shirt
(MADE IN SRI LANKA),
designer jeans
(MADE IN SINGAPORE)
and tennis shoes
(MADE IN KOREA)
After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet
(MADE IN INDIA)
he sat down with his calculator
(MADE IN MEXICO)
to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch
(MADE IN TAIWAN)
to the radio
(MADE IN INDIA)
he got in his car
(MADE IN GERMANY)
filled it with GAS
(from Saudi Arabia)
and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB. At the end of yet
another discouraging and fruitless day checking his Computer
(MADE IN MALAYSIA),
John decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals
(MADE IN BRAZIL),
poured himself a glass of wine
(MADE IN FRANCE)
and turned on his TV
(MADE IN INDONESIA),
and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in AMERICA

AND NOW HE'S HOPING HE CAN GET HELP FROM THE PRESIDENT
(MADE IN KENYA)!!!

Oznake:

nakracal samuelion ob 11:43, | 0 krat počena tipkovnica