Jednog dana umre neki čovjek i nađe se u paklu. Kako je padao u očaj, došao je i prvi susret s nečastivim.
Vrag upita, "Zašto si tako turoban?"
Čovjek odgovori, "Što misliš? Pa u paklu sam!"
"Pakao nije tako loš, kaže vrag."U biti, dosta se zabavljamo ovdje dolje. Da li voliš piti?"
"Naravno, kaže čovjek, "Volim se opijati."
"E, onda ćeš voljeti ponedjeljke. Ponedjeljkom jedino što radimo je opijanje. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, razna vina, vrhunski likeri i piva. Pijemo dok ne povratimo i onda još malo!"
Čovjek zastane. "To zvuči dobro."
"Da li pušiš?" pita vrag.
"Što to uopće pitaš!"
"Onda ćeš voljeti utorke. Nabavimo najfinije cigarete iz cijelog svijeta i pušimo dok nam ne ispadnu pluća. Ako dobiješ rak pluća, ne brini. Ionako si mrtav, zar ne?"
"Vau, kako je to ludo!"
Nečastivi nastavi. "Kladim se da voliš kockati."
"Pa u neku ruku da, volim."
"Srijedom možeš kockati do mile volje. Bela, rulet, poker, šnaps, remi, svejedno, što god želiš. Ako bankrotiraš, nema veze, ionako si već mrtav.
Dal' se drogiraš?"
Čovjek odgovori, "Zar se šališ? Obožavam droge!
Ne misliš valjda . . ."
"Točno! Četvrtak je dan droga. Posluži se valikim zamotajima crack-a ili smack-a. Puši marihuanu. Fiksaj se do mile volje, ionako si mrtav!"
"Vau," kaže čovjek, počevši se osjećati malo lagodnije u toj situaciji, "Nikad nisam mislio da je pakao tako zabavno mjesto!"
Vrag upita, "Da li si peder?"
"Ne."
"Eh, onda ćeš mrziti petke!"

Oznake: smehoteka

This information is intended specifically for the entire Synchrotech UltiFire hard drive line, which as an employee, I am intimately familiar with. There is no reason I am aware of that the information wouldn't work with other brands. Further, the same would apply to UltiFire drives connected via USB 2.0, although I am not clear why anyone would use USB over FireWire for data transfer. For some time we had customers ask how they could share drives between multiple platforms. Nearly always with Mac OS X and Windows XP. The most natural solution is to format the drives as FAT 32, or at least one partition as such, which is usable under both systems. Unfortunately, Windows XP is incapable of formating large drives as FAT 32. Furthermore, Windows is incapable of creating HFS+/FAT 32 multi-partitions and other combinations as well.

While it goes without saying that Mac OS X is much more flexible in terms of file system support, the Disk Utility Application isn't without limitations. While able to reformat FAT disks (MS-DOS File System in its terminology) that remain readable on Windows, any disk created with combinations of HFS and FAT, or disks once HFS and reformated as FAT are unrecognizable on Windows. Several sites have given suggestions on how to use Mac OS X to create sharable drives, but the examples are confusing, unreliable and often incorrect. The appropriate tool to use is fdisk, which will create up to four partitions recognized by both x86 operating systems and the Macintosh. Once partitioned, there are several tools available to format the partitions as needed. In these examples, we will OS X 10.3.x. FreeBSD and Linux support FireWire, OpenBSD and NetBSD are adding support. The basic process here should work essentially the same for those systems as well.

Creating Single Partitioned File Systems for Multiple OSs

These instructions are all done at the command line and several of them require administrative privileges. Other than diskutil, these programs are pretty standard on any Unix-like system. An existing UltiFire drive would already be formated, but for completeness we will discuss dealing with both pre-formatted and un-formated drives. Connecting or powering on a drive with a supported file system causes OS X to mount the drive its partitions. These partitions will need unmounting before going any further. Connecting or powering on a drive without a supported file system causes OS X to present the following dialog: "You have inserted a disk containing no volumes that Mac OS X can read. To continue with the disk inserted, click Ignore." Given the choices Initialize..., Ignore, and Eject choose Ignore.

There are several ways to unmount partitions, because the OS X Finder sometimes doesn't deal with umount well, it is best to use diskutil. First we determine the full path to non-root volume(s) in question by typing mount | grep /Volumes. We can then use diskutil to unmount the UltiFire drive.

[kyoto:~] rds% mount | grep /Volumes
/dev/disk0s9 on /Volumes/os9 (local, journaled)
/dev/disk2s1 on /Volumes/ultifire (local, nodev, nosuid)

[kyoto:~] rds% diskutil unmount /Volumes/ultifire/
Any drive formated with Apple's Disk Utility or Drive Setup applications use the Apple partitioning scheme. Drives formated under Windows as NTFS have an improper MBR entry. This won't work for sharing drives, so we need to change the partition scheme to fdisk. Rather than use the interactive mode, we can provide everything at the command prompt. Note that we use the device we saw when calling mount, but with an "r" prefix and without the slice information afterwards (ie. /dev/disk2s1 becomes /dev/rdisk2). After the partition table is changed, OS X will present the dialog mentioned above; choose Ignore.

[kyoto:~] rds% fdisk -ia dos /dev/rdisk2
fdisk: could not open MBR file /usr/standalone/i386/boot0: No such file or directory

-----------------------------------------------------
------ ATTENTION - UPDATING MASTER BOOT RECORD ------
-----------------------------------------------------

Do you wish to write new MBR and partition table? [n] y
We can verify if the MBR is correct, and create a new FAT 32 file system on the partition using newfs_msdos. We use the device name as we saw when we originally called mount | grep /Volumes. The disk will now be usable for any operating system that can deal with FAT 32. A short list includes: Mac OS X and 9, any version of Windows that supports FireWire or USB 2.0, FreeBSD, Linux, and more.

[kyoto:~] rds% fdisk /dev/rdisk2
Disk: /dev/rdisk2 geometry: 10011/255/63 [160836480 sectors]
Signature: 0xAA55
Starting Ending
#: id cyl hd sec - cyl hd sec [ start - size]
------------------------------------------------------------------------
*1: 0C 0 1 1 - 1023 154 63 [ 63 - 160836417] Win95 FAT32L
2: 00 0 0 0 - 0 0 0 [ 0 - 0] unused
3: 00 0 0 0 - 0 0 0 [ 0 - 0] unused
4: 00 0 0 0 - 0 0 0 [ 0 - 0] unused


[kyoto:~] rds% newfs_msdos -F32 -v ultifire /dev/disk2s1
newfs_msdos: warning: /dev/disk2s1 is not a character device
/dev/disk2s1: 160797120 sectors in 2512455 FAT32 clusters (32768 bytes/cluster)
bps=512 spc=64 res=32 nft=2 mid=0xf0 spt=32 hds=255 hid=0 bsec=160836417
bspf=19629 rdcl=2 infs=1 bkbs=6

[kyoto:~] rds% diskutil mount /dev/disk2
Creating Multiple Partitioned File Systems for Multiple OSs

This option is useful in several regards. Mac OS X users might want to use a portion of the disk for backups and part for sharing data with Windows. A Windows XP users might want a partition as NTFS, and a FAT 32 partition for exchanging files with Linux. Rather than repeat all details, please read the above section carefully. Apple's diskutil will do this straight from the command line:

[kyoto:~] rds% diskutil partitionDisk disk2 2 MBRFormat HFS+ mac 46.7G MS-DOS dos 30G

[kyoto:~] rds% fdisk /dev/rdisk2
Disk: /dev/rdisk2 geometry: 10011/255/63 [160836480 sectors]
Signature: 0xAA55
Starting Ending
#: id cyl hd sec - cyl hd sec [ start - size]
------------------------------------------------------------------------
1: AF 0 0 9 - 1023 75 43 [ 8 - 97937000] HFS+
2: 05 1023 75 44 - 1023 154 63 [ 97937008 - 62899472] Extended DOS
3: 00 0 0 0 - 0 0 0 [ 0 - 0] unused
4: 00 0 0 0 - 0 0 0 [ 0 - 0] unused
Signature: 0xAA55
Starting Ending
#: id cyl hd sec - cyl hd sec [ start - size]
------------------------------------------------------------------------
1: 0B 1023 75 52 - 1023 154 63 [ 97937016 - 62899464] Win95 FAT-32
2: 00 0 0 0 - 0 0 0 [ 0 - 0] unused
3: 00 0 0 0 - 0 0 0 [ 0 - 0] unused
4: 00 0 0 0 - 0 0 0 [ 0 - 0] unused

[kyoto:~] rds% diskutil list

/dev/disk2
#: type name size identifier
0: FDisk_partition_scheme *76.7 GB disk2
1: Apple_HFS mac 46.7 GB disk2s1
2: DOS_FAT_32 DOS 30.0 GB disk2s5
OS9 will only recognize the FAT partions on a MBR partitioned disk, so this option isn't well suited for OS9 installations.

Innovation, Not Litigation

Using XP, from the company currently licensing FAT 32 we have two choices. The seemingly obvious tool--Disk Manager, only provides NTFS as an option. So we are left with command line:

C:\Documents and Settings\rds>format F: /FS:FAT32
The type of the file system is NTFS.
The new file system is FAT32.
Enter current volume label for drive F: ULTIFIRE

WARNING, ALL DATA ON NON-REMOVABLE DISK
DRIVE F: WILL BE LOST!
Proceed with Format (Y/N)? y
Verifying 238475M
The volume is too big for FAT32.
I suppose the 'innovation' of FAT32 which is now being licensed at a steep price to media manufacturers isn't considered innovative enough for WinXP. Older versions of Windows might fare better, an exercise left to the reader.

taken from here

Oznake: Mek-In-Toš

Zašto je Italija sigurna ? Perche l'Italia e al sicuro ?

Bin Laden je izjavio: "Jako je teško izvesti teroristički čin u Italiji"
Nedavno otkriveni dokumenti SISDE (talijanske tajne službe) Potvrđuju da je Bin Laden izdao naredbu da se organizira avionski Napad na Italiju.....
Dvoje terorista iz jedne blisko-istočne zemlje su došli u Napoli Odlučni provesti "Alahovu kaznu nad talijanskim nevjernicima"
Evo kako je to izgledalo:

Nedjelja 23:47
Stigli su na međunarodni aerodrom u Napoli iz Turske, i napuštaju aerodrom osam sati nakon dolaska zbog toga što su izgubili prtljagu. Tvrtka ne preuzima odgovornost za gubitke iste, a jedan djelatnik iste tvrtke predlaže teroristima da probaju doći drugi dan...
tko zna, uz malo sreće..
Sjedaju u taksi: Nabusiti taksist pogledom u retrovizor zaključuje Da su stranci i vozika ih cijelim gradom sat i pol vremena.
Kako teroristi ne prigovaraju čak i kada taksimetar dođe do 200 eura, taksist odlučuje da će ukrcati svog kompanjona na kružnom toku Villaricca. Nakon što su ih opljačkali i pretukli izbacuju ih u predjelu Rione 167.

Ponedjeljak 04:30
Nakon što su se osvijestili oba terorista uspijevaju doći u hotel na trgu Burze. Odlučuju da će iznajmiti auto pri Hertz-u na trgu Municipio. Nakon toga se upućuju na aerodrom, ali prije nego dođu do trga Mazzini, ostaju blokirani od studentskog protestnog marša, anti-globalista u bijelim radnim odijelima i nezaposlenim Napoletanima koji im ne daju proći.

Ponedjeljak 12:30
Konačno dolaze do trga Garibaldi gdje odlučuju razmijeniti novac kako bi se mogli slobodnije kretati: njihovi dolari bivaju zamijenjeni za falsificirane novčanice od 100 eura.

Ponedjeljak 15:45
Dolaze na aerodrom Capodichino čvrsto odlučni da će avion skrenuti sa rute srušiti ga na tornjeve ENEL-a. Piloti ALITALIA-e štrajakaju zbog toga što traže četverostruke plaće za manje sati rada. Isti problem imaju i kontrolori leta koji se pridružuju štrajku iz solidarnosti. Jedini raspoloživi avion na pisti je tvrtke MARADONA AIR sa destinacijom Alghera i koji je u zakašnjenju 18 sati...
djelatnici tvrtke sa putnicima kampiraju u sali za čekanje ipjevaju popularne pjesme, glasno protestirajući protiv vlade. Dolaze štrajk brakeri i počinju dijeliti udarce lijevo i desno svima i svoj bijes iskljuju i na dvoje Arapa.

Ponedjeljak 19:05
Konačno se malo smiruju strasti i dva sina Alahova, prekriveni krvlju dolaze do pulta MARADONA AIR-a kako bi kupili kartu za Sassari u avionu koji će skrenuti u tornjeve ENEL-a. Djelatnik MARADONA AIR-a koji im proda karte prešuti im da je let, zapravo, otkazan.

Ponedjeljak 22:07
Sada već teroristi diskutiraju dali da nastave sa planom ili ne...ne znaju dali je uništenje Napolija teroristički čin ili čin milosrđa.

Ponedjeljak 23:30
Pregladnjeli, odlučuje pojesti nešto na Aerodromskom restoranu i naručuju sendvič sa pohanim školjkama.

Utorak 04:35
U nemilosti salmonele koju su prouzročile pohane školjke završavaju u bolnici San Gennaro, nakon što se cijelu noć čekali u hodniku hitne pomoći. Stvar ne bi trajala više od par dana da se nije pojavila sumnja na koleru iz školjaka.

Nedjelja 17:20
Nakon 12 dana izlaze iz bolnice i nađu se u blizini stadiona San Paolo. Napoli je izgubio, na domaćem terenu, od novopečenog Palerma sa 3-0, aa dva penala dosuđena u korist Sicilijanske momčadi od strane suca Concettino
Rina da Corleone. Grupa navijača "MASSERIA CARDONE", vidjevši dva tamnija čovjeka zamijenjuju ih za navijače Palerma i počinju ih gađati kamenjem i letvama. Da bi stvar bila gora šef navijača, jedan "Peppo ili Ricchione", seksualno
iskorištava obojicu.

Nedjelja 19:45
Napokon navijači odlaze, a oba terorista se odlučuju napiti po prvi put u životu (iako je grijeh!!). U jednoj krčmi u lučkoj zoni grada im natoče patvoreno vino sa metanolom i ponovo završavaju u bolnici San Gennaro zbog trovanja, a testiranja utvrde da su obojica pozitivni na HIV test.

Utorak 23:42
Dvoje terorista na splavi bježe put Libije, izmoreni trovanjem metanolom i sa dvanaestak novih infekcija zaklinjući se Alahu da više nikad neće ništa pokušati.

Oznake: smehoteka

Premožen moški se odloči, da se bo treba poročiti. Všeč so mu bile kar tri ženske, a se ni in ni mogel odločiti. Tako se odloči, da podari vsaki 5000 $ in počaka, da vidi, kaj bodo one storile s tem denarjem.

Prva je odšla takoj v lepotilni salon, kjer si je uredila lase, telo, si nakupila nove obleke in se za tega moškega po najboljših močeh uredila. Rekla mu je, da je to storila, da bi mu bila čim bolj privlačna, saj ga tako zelo ljubi.

Moški je bil impresioniran.

Druga je odšla v nakupovalni center, da bi moškemu kupila darila. Kupila mu je nove palice za golf, nove dodatke za računalnik, lepo in drago obleko. Dala mu je ta darila in rekla, da je denar potrošila zanj, saj ga tako Zelo ljubi.

Moški je bil ponovno impresioniran.

Tretja ženska je vložila denar na borzi in čez nekaj časa zaslužila Veliko več, kot je vložila. Moškemu je vrnila njegovih 5 000 $, ostalo pa položila na njun skupen račun. Rekla mu je, da želi vlagati v njuno skupno prihodnost, saj ga tako zelo ljubi.

Normalno, da je bil moški spet impresioniran.

Dolgo je razmišljal o denarju, o ženskah, o tem, kaj je vsaka storila z denarjem.... in takrat se je odločil.
Poročil se je s tisto, ???.


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????.. ki je imela največje joške.

Takšni so pač moški.

IN NAUK TE ZGODBE?
Danes se na svetu potroši veliko več denarja za povečanje prsi in za viagro, kot za razvoj Alzheimerjeve in drugih bolezni...
To pomeni, da bo leta 2040 obstajala številna populacija starih ljudi z velikimi in čvrstimi prsmi in z močnimi erekcijami, pa ne bodo imeli pojma, kaj s tem početi.

Oznake: smehoteka

v teh dnevih, če hočeš počistiti krava-na, pridejo goretex rokavice preklemano prav. še boljše je, če suneš za 5 min. sosedu še metlo in lepo očistiš zakonu primerno svoje vozilo.

in kako si se ti znašel v tem jutru?

Oznake: utrinek

Moderna ženska

Kakšna je danes moderna ženska?
- Taka, ki se oblači na kredit, slači pa za gotovino.

Oznake: smehoteka

po 100tih postih smehoteke, sem ugotovil kdo sem =P


Which File Extension are You?

nisem se mogel premagat, pa ce ga ze vsi serjejo s to extenzijo, sem hotel se jaz pokukat kaj mi pravi nakljucno generiran perl script. looool

Oznake: kr tak

A little Indian boy asked his father, the big chief and witch doctor of the tribe, "Papa, why is it that we always have long names, while the white men have shorter names - Bill, Tex or Sam, for example?"
His father replied, "Look, son, our names represent a symbol, a sign, or a poem for our culture not like the white men, who live all together and repeat their names from generation to generation. Also, it is part of our makeup that in spite of everything, we survive.
For example, your sister's name is Small Romantic Moon Over The Lake, because on the night she was born, there was a beautiful moon reflected in the lake.
Then there's your brother, Big White Horse of the Prairies, because he was born on a day that the big white horse who gallops over the prairies of the world appeared near our camp and is a symbol of our capacity to live and the life force of our people.
It's very simple and easy to understand.
Do you have any other questions, Little Broken Condom Made in China?"

Oznake: smehoteka

coolerski filmček, ki ima na obzorju sigurno kako nagrado za kratki animirani film. vsekakor eden od filmčkov, ki se ga more videt.




še hint za iskanje: The Madagascar Penguins In A Christmas Caper

Oznake: kr tak

hja problem marsikje je seveda v nediscipliniranosti voznikov. že če pogledamo, da si marsikateri slovenec daje gume gor zadnji dan in uspešno prispeva k daljšim vrstam pri vulkanizerju. ta problem je malo bolj drugačen na jamajki, zato raje prilagam slike, kjer je problem čisto nazorno izpostavljen.



aja da ne bo kdo mislil, da so problem riti. neeee. problem je samo da noben nima čelad. tako da imajo hardcore bajkeri sigurno nagubano čelo.

Oznake: sexy

On se šali s vama = Ate Zayebawa

On ne može da ostavi cigarete = Nasugushi Kokopushi

Naši konkurenti su ozbiljni = Onitamo Yebukewu

On ne predstavlja pretnju = Neka Migaduwa

Mislim da smo se izgubili = Yao Kudasada

Trebalo bi kupiti krompir i mleveno meso = Yedemi Semusaka

Prijatno = Malodishi

On je jako dobar muž = Agatura Doyaya

On se toga plaši = Nemamuda

Ocuh = Mamukara

Maceha = Mometati Pushikaru

Svekrva = Wadidushu

Pol muški = Imakitu

Pol ženski = Imapitsu

Homoseksualac = Kituima Kitupushi

Lezbijka = Imapitsu Ocheribu

Nju ne interesuju muškarci = Owariba Nechekara

Imamo ženu za direktora = Namadisha Imapitsu

Gatara = Chiribuchi Riba

On voli gledanje u karte = Ochegata

On ne veruje u vradžbine = Nechegata

Super mi je s njim = Tura Miduboko

On je spavao s njom = Natako Yenakitu

Seks = Kita Upitsu

Želim seks (M) = Nakitu Minayashi

Želim seks (Ž) = Udjimi Upitsu

Analni seks = Kitakara Teudupe

Oralni seks = Aypopu Shimikitu

Oznake: smehoteka

The New European Language
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters that have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand etsh oza.
Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru ..
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas. If zis mad yu smil, plez pas on to oza pepl.

Oznake: smehoteka

spet sem rojeval, ko sm hotel si malo porihtat te moje bukmarke. zna bit zanimiva dogodivščina, sploh če želiš si na treh mašinah usposobit enake bookmarke. ja saj vem oni hardcode programerji bojo rekli... ma daš si jih na iternet stran pa je. hmmm, ne, zato ker novi safari podpira rss in lahko vse gledam, že preko browserja. en klik na toolbar menu in vse je pri roki.
in ker sem na internetu našel polno programčkov kako to exportiraš iz safarija, ampak sem vedel da sem nekje mesec dni nazaj zvrtal na netu eno kodo, ki samo odpre en menu, ki je prikrit očem javnosti. pa sem ga spet nasel.

Zapri safari in poženi terminal
(Applications > Utilities > Terminal).

napiši kodo v terminalno okno:
defaults write com.apple.Safari IncludeDebugMenu 1

in to je to. odpreš lahko novi debug menu in elegantno exportiraš vso kramo, ki jo premoreš.

Oznake: Mek-In-Toš

Sposobnost predvidevanja...
Mož se zvečer vrne iz službe.
Na mizi ga čaka listek:"Mama je bolna, odpeljala sem se k njej."
Mož vzdihne in stopi k hladilniku, da bi si pripravil kaj za pod zob, na hladilniku pa listek: "Hrana je pripravljena v hladilniku, grej jo le tri minute v mikrovalovki."
Naročeno -storjeno.
Po večerji razmišlja, kaj bo počel, gre v spalnico in na postelji najde listek:"Sanjaj o meni! "

Možu je listkov dovolj. Lepo se obleče in ko hoče obuti čevlje najde v enem listek:" KAM PA KAM ?!!"

Oznake: smehoteka

Ritoliznost

Vode ljubav direktor i sekretarica.
"Direktore, je li unutra?", pita ona.
"Jeste", kaze on.
"JAAAAOOOOO KOLIKI JE."

Oznake: smehoteka

Kakšna je razlika med žensko in živo mejo?

Nobene!

Če je ne neguješ zleze k sosedu !=)

Oznake: smehoteka